


A Road to Remember

by erney007



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blackmail, Breeding Kink, Broken Hearts, Dark Reylo Anthology, Darklite AU, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Heavy Angst, Miscarriage, Mystic River in the opening, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reconciliation, Reconciliation Sex, Sexual Abuse, Smut, Technically virgin Rey, There will be forgiveness, attempted threesome, please mind the tags, vengeance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-11 19:11:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19933087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erney007/pseuds/erney007
Summary: Rey was a girl in a foster group home, struggling to make a better future for herself. However, there was a heavy burden in her heart because of the terrible thing that had happened in the past, to the most important person in her life.One day, that person came back and swore to make her experience the same thing he had been through.





	1. Do you remember me?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to my [beta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stories_in_my_head/pseuds/stories_in_my_head) who helped me polishing this story. I couldn't do this without you.
> 
> This story is heavily inspired by a yaoi manga I've read and the opening of the film Mystic River.
> 
> There are heavily rape/non-con elements in this story starting from the first chapter. If you feel uncomfortable. Please do not continue on this road.  
> But if you want to know where this vengeance will lead to, welcome to the Road to Remember.

”Wow! Your new glove is pretty cool!”

Ben smiled as the younger children ran around, playing catch on the small playground in their neighborhood. Every weekend they would gather around doing things together. A shy, skinny, teenage boy, Ben was quite comfortable playing with them than with boys his age.

On a nearby bench sat Rey, the youngest of the group. She was a foster daughter of Mr.Tekka, an old, kind-hearted man who ran the tea shop down the street. She was usually quite attached to him, but today she was distant and looking grumpy.

Her eyes were fixed on his new baseball glove that was on Kaydel’s hand, a shining piece of brown leather. Ben felt like he should cheer her up. He asked for his glove back and called out to Rey.

“Let play together.” He threw the ball at Rey, but she ignored it. “Come on, have some fun.”

Obviously annoyed, Rey stood up stomping and picked up the ball. Ben wasn’t prepared for what was to happen when she threw the ball forcefully at his face. He ducked just in time, the ball hitting the window of the house behind him, breaking the glass.

Everyone on the playground froze.

“Hey!” A dark sedan pulled up at the kerb. A middle-aged man in a worn suit and coat stepped out of the car, swaggering with an air of authority, the metal of a pair of handcuffs shining on his belt. “Don’t you dare run away. Breaking people’s property is a crime, you know that? Who did it?”

Every child’s eyes shot over to Rey. Blood had ran out of her face and she was quivering in fear. Sensing her distress, Ben stepped in between her and the man. 

“I did.” He said. “I was reckless. I’m sorry.” He can’t recall seeing this man in the area, but Ben had never been to the police station before, too.

“Uh-huh. Brave young man.” The man nodded. “Now get in the car. We need to talk.”

Rey tugged at the hem of Ben’s shirt, her eyes wide and fixed on the mysterious stranger. “Don’t go,” she whispered.

Ben patted her hair gently, “It’s alright.” He reassured her. “I’ll be back, sweetheart, I promise.”

He never came back.

* * *

_Eight years later._

Rey had been haunted by the memory of that day, when she saw the man shoved Ben inside the back seat of his car. There was another man sitting in the front seat, and together they brought Ben to a place where they held him captive, abusing him for several days before he could escape.

It was only when she had grown up that she finally understood the word _‘abuse’_ in that context.

Ben was never found again in their neighborhood. His parents kept a tight lid about the whole incident and eventually moved the family away. It was whispered that the men who took Ben were sexual offenders, driving around town looking for their next victim. If it wasn’t for Ben, Rey would have been the prey they took.

That made her feel unforgivably guilty, after all this time.

“Faster, girl. You’re slacking.”

But, karma was real. Soon after the Solos moved away, Mr. Tekka suffered a fatal heart attack. Rey was thrown into the foster care system again. This time, it wasn’t easy. She hopped from house to house until she landed in a group home regulated by the Teedos and located in a small town named Tatooine. They’re selfish and neglectful, the foster children always fought in the house. As the oldest, it was Rey’s duty to keep them in check.

Her eighteen birthday was approaching and she counted the days when she would be finally free from the Teedos, free from the system. Her homeroom teacher, Mrs. Maz Kanata, saw her potential and encouraged her to compete for a scholarship in a prestigious university far away from Tatooine. She could have a new life and a bright future beyond it.

Her math teacher Mr. Plutt, however, had other intentions for her. Mr Plutt looked like a kind-looking overweight man on the outside, but some girls _and boys_ knew the truth underneath the sugar coating. If Rey wanted good grades to impress the scholarship interviewers, Mr. Plutt suggested that she needed to _work for it_.

Rey sucked harder and pumped her hand around her math teacher’s wrinkled shaft. Having many health problems meant Plutt couldn’t get his cock up long and hard enough to penetrate anything, employing blackmail to force someone to help him get it up. Rey was his favorite, she made him cum in her mouth and swallow every drop of his spend like a good girl.

_Just endure it a little more. This soon will pass_. She’ll run away from this place and never come back.

A knock on the door had them both lurching.

“Who’s there?” Plutt asked. It was almost six in the evening and the school was nearly empty at the time. Before he could push Rey under his table and rearrange his clothing, the door flung open, revealing a tall man with a long face and wavy dark hair, a video recorder trained onto them. The device looked so small in his massive hand.

“Did I walk into the middle of something?” He stepped past the threshold into Plutt’s office, his voice was deep and amused. “This might be an interesting scoop for the local news, don’t you think? Fat, impotent math teacher forcing his pupil to suck his cock for grades.”

“Who are you?” Plutt was sweating like a pig. “What do you want from me? I’ll give you whatever you want, just don’t tell anyone about this.”

“I want her.”

“Then take her!” Plutt grabbed Rey’s arm, dragging her up and pushing her towards the stranger.

Rey’s eyes widened as she looked up to the man. His gaze was fixed on Plutt, his arm held her tight around the waist, pressing her against his muscular body. In contrast to Plutt’s sweaty scent, he smelled clean.

“Don’t you dare lay your hand on her ever again.” The intruder warned. “She is mine.”

Spinning on his feet, he dragged Rey out of Plutt’s office to the empty hallway of her school.

“Who are you?” She asked. He didn’t reply.

He brought her to the storage room near the infirmary, pushing her inside the darkened room and locked the door. The light flicked open and Rey looked at him closely.

She couldn’t believe her own eyes. “Ben?” She muttered. 

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “You remember me.”

“Ben!” Fear suddenly turned to joy, Rey rushed to hug him tightly. “I thought I wouldn't see you again.”

“Yeah. Me, too.” He hugged her back, pressing a kiss on her hair like he always did in the old days. “You’ve grown up a lot.”

“You too. I almost didn’t recognize you.” Rey looked at him all over again. Ben had changed a lot, growing up from boy to man. His face was still long, but now it was more refined. His arms and legs were now strong and muscular, proportionate to his broad frame. His hair was still as luxurious as she remembered.

The memory of his tragic past flashed through her. Rey felt the need to speak out what she had been repenting after all this time.

“Ben, I’m so sorry about what had happened to you,” she said. “I owe you my life. If you didn’t save me that day, I—“

“So you did remember all of it.” His grip tightened on her arms. “I thought you would grow up to be a good girl. I was wrong.”

His cold voice startled her. “Mr. Plutt forced me to do it.” She protested. “I need the scholarship to get away from here, but he — I mean, I really did well in maths but he refused to give me what I deserve with nothing in exchange.”

“So you’ll do anything for an A. Shame on you, Rey.”

Ben pushed her onto the desk inside the room. The dim lighting flickering a shadow on his face. “You always manipulate other people for your selfish interest, don’t you?” He squeezed her chin, forcing her to look up to him. “I was in town visiting my uncle and saw you running around volunteering for charity. It would add nicely to your scholarship application, isn't it?" He hushed when she whimpered. "Don't make a sound. You don't want people to catch Good Girl Rey making out with a man in the storage room in her school, right?”

She knew the faintest hint of impropriety would make her lose the scholarship. "What do you want from me?"

“Interesting question.” He smiled. “What about you keeping me company during my stay.” 

It wasn’t a question. Rey yelped as he flipped her over, her stomach pressed on the cold wooden table. She felt her skirt being lifted and her panties being torn away.

“What are you doing?!” 

“Don’t you think I haven’t been watching you?” His fingers toyed with the slit between her folds. “I’ve seen that old pig play with your lovely pussy, letting him put his dirty finger in it. I’ve had it all recorded.”

He invaded Rey with two fingers and she flinched at the warm and burning sensation of her dry core being abruptly stretched. “Please. Don’t do this to me.” She pleaded. “I’ll do anything you want, just please have mercy on me.”

“I have been thinking about the reason why I adore you so much.” He started pumping his fingers in and out of her cunt. “An angry little girl who throwing fits every time she was upset. I did spoil you a lot. How old were you? Eight? Or nine? When we walked home and you stole candy from the grocery store. You put it in my backpack and got me in trouble. Luckily the owner knew me too well that I would never have done something like that.”

It was true. Rey grew up in foster care for a while before she came to live with Mr.Tekka. The insecurity gave her a lot of issues including a bad temper and possessiveness. On the day of his abduction, she was jealous that Ben paid more attention to the other kids. He lent his new glove to Kaydel who God-only-knows has a bunch of stuff already, because her parents would buy her everything she wanted. Now, Kaydel had Ben’s attention and Rey felt betrayed. He was hers!

“Look at you. So afraid, but you are enjoying it, right?” Ben pressed his thumb on her clit. Rey whimpered, feeling her core clenched around his fingers, her arousal seeping out, making a slick, obscene sound that echoed throughout the storage room.

“Let me go!” Rey squirmed. “I told you I’m sorry!”

“Sorry for what?” He presses her back down on the table, his fingers left her core and she heard him fumbling with the front of his pants. “For being a bad girl? For being naughty?”

“I’m sorry for whatever happened to you.” She gasped as she felt something hot and hard nudging at her entrance. Rey tilted her head back, looking up at him pleadingly. “I beg you, don’t do this.”

Ben lips curled into a sarcastic smile. “That's what I said, too.” And he thrust inside her all the way to the hilt.

The sharp pain ripped through her body. Rey cried out as he broke into her, stretching her core so sudden that it drew blood. Ben pinned her wrists above her head with one hand, the front of his jeans felt cold on her bare ass.

“You’re so tight.” He hovered down and whispered to her ear, “Never had a good cock before?”

Rey shook her head. “It hurts so much,” she cried out, sobbing.

“Of course it hurts.” His free hand snaked around her neck, choking it lightly. “Rape shouldn’t feel good, should it?”

Ben drew out and thrust again. His hip slapping against hers as he picked up the pace, moving so forcefully her feet barely touched the floor. 

“This could happen to you.” Ben whispered. “Having two men pin you down and rape you from behind. You can’t do anything about it. Something is taken from you and you’ll never be able to take it back.”

“We could’ve ran.” Rey struggled. “If you weren’t that good, we could have run and they would never catch us.”

Her words infuriated him. “You know nothing!” He snarled. “I tried to be good, took the problem on like a man. I saved you! But it didn’t matter. The end would all be the same.”

“Then why are you doing this to me?” The pain ebbed into numbness as he continued pounding inside her. “I didn't ask you to save me.”

“I thought I was saving you.” he said. “But seeing you sucking that old cock— I sacrificed myself for a slut! What I had been through was for nothing.”

“It isn’t what you think—”

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” he rasped. “You’re _my_ slut now.”

His hips stuttered. Rey felt a hot wetness suddenly filling her core. Ben groaned as he emptied inside her, his cum trickled down her trembling thighs, mixed with her arousal and the blood of her maidenhood.

“We are even now,” he whispered menacingly to her ear. “You’re going to do everything I command. Don’t tell anyone about this or your videos will be on the Internet. Trust me, I’ve got a good shot of your beautiful face when you sucked that cock.”

* * *


	2. I'm not the one you remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He had been so good to her as a child, so kind, so gentle with her. He'd made a lonely girl like her feel special, being wanted, being somebody who deserved to be loved.
> 
> But now, he had changed.

“You’re late.”

“I’m sorry, won’t happen again,” Rey said as she entered the house, the clock on the wall saying it was 8 pm.

“How many times have you said that before? You’ve quit your part-time job, there’s no other reason to be home this late.” Mrs.Teedo crossed her arms on her chest. “You’ll get us into trouble if you don’t behave.”

“I needed to prepare some school work for my scholarship application,” Rey replied. “I won’t get you into trouble, I promise.”

“I don’t care what you do, just follow the rules.” Mrs.Teedo shrugged. “Dinner is over. If you’re still hungry, there're leftovers in the fridge.”

She didn’t feel hungry at all, walking directly to her room on the second floor. Camie, a younger girl who was her roommate was laying on the top bunk bed with a headphone covering her ears. Grabbing her nightgown and towel, Rey silently headed straight to the bathroom.

In the privacy of the bathroom, Rey removed her shirt. The collar hid the hickeys and bite marks scattered all over her neck and shoulders, down to her chest where her breasts were swollen and sore. She saw several bruises on her waist and hip where Ben’s fingers dug into her flesh. Her ass cheeks were red and her cunt felt wet and sticky.

Her throat thickened with sobs as she turned on the shower faucet, letting the water pour over her. She felt used and dirty every time someone touched her. With Ben, it was different. He had been so good to her as a child, so gentle with her. He’d made a lonely girl like her feel special, being wanted, being somebody who deserved to be loved. It broke her heart to know of the nightmare that happened to him. She tried to live her life as good as possible, knowing what he had sacrificed for her sake.

Despite her yearning to follow the straight and narrow, the reality was predators are everywhere. Orphans like her were the easiest targets, but Rey counts herself lucky. Other than her sordid assignations with Plutt, she hasn’t indulged in any sexual activity and went through high school technically a virgin. But even she couldn’t make that claim anymore.

Ben would pick her up everyday at school with his uncle’s truck and took her to various places to fuck. An abandoned cabin in the woods, a public library, a movie theatre, the trunk of his pickup truck, or in the restroom of a restaurant. He seemed to like it more when she felt humiliated and terrified of being caught in the act.

Sex wasn’t as painful after the first time, but she felt a different kind of hurt. His eyes were cold and cruel as he watched his cum seep out of her swollen cunt. There was no compassion in their coupling, only lust and hunger that burned them to ash.

There was no use apologizing or begging for his mercy. The Ben Solo she knew was gone.

* * *

Rey was surprised when he brought her to a house at the end of the street. It was a plain two-storied house with a perfectly trimmed front lawn. Ben parked his car in the garage and brought her inside.

“I prepared something for you,” he said.

_ This must be his uncle’s house _ , she thought. Ben had the key and seemed to know the interior of the house very well. He led her to the attic where there was a king-sized bed under a narrow window. On the opposite side of the bed stood a tall, full-body oval mirror. The room smelled of fresh clothes and wood, the scent somehow made this room seem comfy. Looking around to see what Ben prepared for her, she was stunned to find a video recorder and studio light at the corner of the room.

He locked the door and turned to her. “Now strip.”

“What are you doing? You promised me no more filming!” 

“I said I won't upload it on the internet. I'm tired of seeing you with that pig so I decided to make a new video for myself.” Ben replied coldly. “Strip.”

_ He knows he has pushed me in a corner _ , Rey thought bitterly as she followed his command, piling clothes up on the floor until she stood out naked in front of him. 

Ben cocked his head, his eyes trailed over the marks he had left on her body. An unknown emotion briefly flickered in his eyes before he put on his nonchalant mask.

“Get on the bed,” he said. “Let me see how you touch yourself.”

“What?”

“You heard what I said. Do it.” Ben raised his brow at her. “Don’t tell me you haven’t done it before. I wouldn’t believe you.”

Rey gingerly sat on the edge of the bed. She knew the mechanics, but has never done it. Privacy was a luxury if you lived in a foster home. Besides, sex and everything in between made her sick in the gut. It didn’t help her frayed nerves that there was a mirror across the bed and a video recorder that would capture every moment of her humiliation.

“You groom yourself down there for me?” His eyes flashed with amusement when he discovered her shaved cunt. “It wasn’t this bare last time we had sex.”

“It’s for hygiene.” Rey refused to look at him or her reflection in the mirror, embarrassed to see how she was reduced to this mess. She started to touch herself half-heartedly, circling her clit with the tip of her fingers, clumsily stroking the seam of her folds.

Seeing her inexperience and lack of enjoyment, Ben sighed and swept her up like she weighed nothing. He sat on the bed and splayed her on his lap, her back to his chest. His arms held her legs open, showing her cunt to the mirror.

“You need a teacher,” Ben whispered, his voice deep and thick. His hand snaked between her legs to cup at her sex. “Let me teach you how to please yourself.”

Rey bit back her moan as he started touching her sensitive flesh, head thrown back against his shoulders, eyes squeezed shut. His hand was coarse and warm, leaving a delicious streak where he stroked from her entrance to her clit, there and back again. His warm breath tickled the fine hairs on her nape. Rey shivered when his other hand joined its twin between her legs, rubbing her clit gently.

“You feel it, right?” His lips brushed against her earlobe. “You always pretended it was something obscene, yet you still enjoy it.” He nudged a finger playfully at her entrance, “So wet already. Doesn’t it feel good when someone else touches you? Such a dirty girl.”

Ben pushed his fingers inside, the feeling of being stretched electrifying her veins. Her eyes flew open and Rey saw herself in the mirror. Her mouth agape as she breathed heavily, seeing her legs open wide and his fingers stuffed inside her wetness. 

“Do you like your pussy stretched out like this? It grips my fingers so lovingly." Ben kissed her neck, his fingers rubbed lazily inside her. “I can feel your pleasure, you know? Just let go of your worries. Feel it. If you want this, then I’ll give it to you.”

Heat curled down her spine as Ben moved a hand up to caress her breast, toying her nipple with his fingers. Rey squirmed on his lap. 

"No,” she whimpered, her hands clasping on his arms. “No! I don’t want it.”

“Yes, you do." Ben’s deeply slotted fingers quickened its pace, her slick squelching around his fingers. He nibbled at her neck again and she came undone.

A long moan escaped her parted lips as the tides of pleasure flooded through her body. Her cunt clenched hard around his fingers and her arousal gushed out, making a mess on his hand. Rey flopped back against him, boneless.

“Look at you, princess. You’re so beautiful.” Ben cooed. "I could have you locked up, so you will be mine alone. Forever.”

Rey didn't hear his words, too lost in overwhelming sensations. She didn’t resist when he freed his arousal from its restraint under his pants and positioned her limp body to receive him. She was so wet and soft Ben entered her with ease. They both moaned as the hardness of his shaft stretched her warm cunt.

Rey opened her eyes and froze in shock. A pink flush covered her face and breasts, and there was glistening wetness between her thighs. Her folds parted where his cock entered her and she could see the rim of her cunt stretched around him, gripping his cock tightly.

“See? Your tiny little cunt is taking my cock so well.” Ben smiled at her reflection. “ _ Move _ .”

Tentatively, Rey placed her hands on his knees for support and tilted her hips, her breath stuttering as she could feel his hardness dragging along her walls. The friction sent shivers down her legs, her toes curling up. Ben’s hands were on her waist, he leaned forward and sucked the flesh between her shoulder blades.

“D-Don’t do that.” Rey shuddered

“Why? You don’t like it when I kiss you?” He chuckled, “I want to watch you cum on my cock. I want to see your pretty face twist with pleasure. I want to see my cum fill your cunt and you’ll love every second of it.”

Rey yelped as he pulled her back against him, feeling the heat of his chest through the cotton fabric of his T-shirt. Her torso turned and twisted, giving his mouth free access to her breasts. Rey mewled as he sucked her nipple, placing sloppy kisses on her sensitive globes. His hand worked on her clit and Rey tipped her head back gasping.

“You feel it, don’t you? Your lovely cunt is milking my cock right now. Do you want my cum? Do you want me to put a baby in you?” His breath hitched. “Ah. You are  _ so _ tight.”

Another tide of pleasure curled inside her belly. With him hot and hard inside her, Rey grinded her hip over him, instinctively seeking for more friction. His cock rubbed all sensitive spots inside her core and she felt herself ascending. For a moment, she forgot what had brought them here—her dubious conduct, his anger, the haunted memory between them. How lovely it would be if she could pretend this was a joining between two lovers.

Soon, Rey was shattered. She cried as she climaxed, her walls fluttering around his cock, begging for his cum. Ben bit her shoulder as he filled her cunt, his cock twitched with every thick rope of his cum spurting inside her.

“You’re mine.” He repeated, and she didn’t have the strength to protest anymore.

* * *


	3. I'll make you remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes he was cruel, sometimes he was sweet. Rey couldn't help thinking that...maybe, there might be hope.

“The date when they reveal the result is on your birthday,” Maz said delightfully. “What a treat! We can have two celebrations at the same time, right?”

“It’s not certain that I’ll get that scholarship.”

“Of course you will! You’re a good girl. Sweet and generous. Your application is fantastic and I’m pretty sure your referrals sang their praises." Maz looked at her closely, “What happened? You look pale. Are you alright?”

“Y-yeah. I’m just—nervous, I guess,” Rey looked up at the clock above the door. “I gotta go, see you later, Mrs.Maz.”

One thing Rey knew about Ben was his punctuality. When they were young, he asked Mr Tekka if he could walk Rey home. The kindly old man agreed provided Ben promised to bring Rey home at a certain time. Ben would always wait for her right at the entrance of her school. He also kept his promises, as she trusted him with all her heart.

However, when he promised to come back to her, he never did. What came back was a stranger.

Rey kept Ben in the dark about her scholarship. She saved enough money from her old part-time job to buy a ticket and attend the interview. It was a two hour drive from town, and she must get up at the crack of dawn to catch the first bus and give her plenty of time to spare. Fortunately, even Ben knew not to keep her beyond her 8 pm curfew.

He picked her up as usual, in the alley next to her school to avoid unwanted attention. Despite being discreet, rumors were spreading around campus that Rey got herself a boyfriend. The Teedos didn't care a flying fuck as long as she kept her nose clean.

Rey couldn’t deny that she liked the look of him when he was driving. He looked so grown-up with one hand on the wheel, the other hand relaxed over the gearbox or absent-mindedly adjusting the air conditioning inside the car to make her more comfortable.

The attic at his uncle’s house had become a place of their secret tryst. She had met his uncle, Luke Skywalker, an old Air Force Veteran who was too blind to realize what had been going on between them. He mostly spent time playing cards and board games with his old friends at the club, leaving the young couple alone the whole afternoon.

Sometimes he was cruel, sometimes he was sweet. His eyes sparkled whenever he watched her squirmed beneath him, and became languid with desire as he watched her riding him. Every encounter was an opportunity to learn new things about each other.

Today, there was another car parked in front of his uncle’s house. “My friend told me he’ll drop by,” Ben explained, as they went up the attic. Ben’s friend was already waiting for them.

“Hux, this is Rey.” 

“A girl I have heard so much about.” Hux’s eyes roamed over her body and her blood ran cold.

“Why is he here?” Rey stumbled back, but Ben gripped her arm to hold her in place.

“He’s my guest,” he smirked. “I promised we’ll fool around and have some fun today.”

Rey cried out, struggling like a wild animal as the two men tore her clothes off, pushing her on the mattress. Hux held her in place while Ben fucked her from behind. 

“Don’t let him feel lonely.” He tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled, forcing her face to level with his friend’s crotch. Rey could see the outline of Hux’s cock straining against his pants.

Hux looked at Ben skeptically. “Are you sure it is okay?” 

“Sure. She loves it.” Ben said, “She just like to pretend that she doesn’t like it.”

Her eyes filled with tears as Hux shoved his manhood inside her mouth. Her head bobbed forward with every brutal thrust from Ben, causing Hux’s length to hit the back of her throat. Her face turned red as she choked on Hux’s cock, fighting for air. The men were oblivious to her distress, talking and laughing over her as they used her mouth and cunt. 

“Do you want to eat her out? She tastes good,” Ben suggested. 

“Not anymore with your cum, dumbass,” Hux replied.

Ben pulled out without warning, raising her by the shoulders, her back against his chest, his hard cock grinding between the globes of her ass. Ben shoved his massive thighs between her legs, parting them and exposing her dripping cunt to the hungry eyes of his friend.

“You said I’m only yours!” Rey shuddered with terror.

“You’re mine to _share_ ,” he replied coldly.

Rey whined as Hux licked a long strip from her opening to her clit. His gingered hair brushed against her thighs as he ate her, lapping his tongue over her sex, her skin crawling in revulsion. She writhed and tried to crawl away from Hux’s unwanted fondling, but Ben tightened his arms around her body.

“Please, don’t make him do this to me.” She begged desperately. “Ben! I don’t want anyone but you.”

“I never had a choice. Neither should you.” He spoke through gritted teeth. “Do it, Hux. She’s yours.”

Hux got up, his lips shiny with his saliva, pumping his cock before aligning himself with her entrance. She fought her restraints, digging her nails at Ben’s arms until it drew blood. Hux hesitated when he saw Rey’s terrified expression, wide-eyed and glassy, like a deer in headlights. 

“Are you sure?” His eyes drifted to Ben.

“Just do it!” Ben barked. Distracted, he didn’t notice Rey bowing her head to bite his arm. Ben winced, releasing his hold while she kicked Hux away, gathering her clothing, and darted to the exit. Ben seized her before she could reach the front door.

“Think twice before refusing me!” He spat. “Do you want your footage to be on the internet? Do you want your nudes plastered over the school walls?”

“I don’t care! I’m done with your shit!” She slapped his face with all her might. “I hate you!”

* * *

“You told me she was play-acting.”

Ben was sitting on the couch, his head in his hands. Hux walked down the stairs from the attic, fully clothed.

“We had an understanding. She broke it,” he justified.

Hux chewed on his bottom lip. “You know I have sisters, right?” he said, “I’ve done questionable things, but I draw the line taking anyone by force.”

“How gallant of you.”

“I don’t know what’s your deal with that girl. But I think you should figure it out before it’s too late.” Hux said.

“It’s already too late,” Ben replied bitterly.

* * *

“You lost your ticket? How careless of you!”

“I’m sorry,” Rey pleaded. “I will repay every cent, as soon as possible. Just this once, please let me borrow some cash.”

She left her bag at Ben’s place when she ran away from him yesterday. Mr. Teedo was quite annoyed when she woke him up early in the morning asking for money. The interview was at 10 am and she was running late.

“Why don’t you go and ask Mrs. Kanata if she could loan you some cash?”

“I don’t have time!”

Their heated discussion was interrupted when they heard a knock at the front door.

“Who would knock at this ungodly hour?” Mr.Teedo scowled. Rey rushed to the door and pulled it open.

Ben was standing there, a friendly smile painted on his face.

“Who are you?” Mr.Teedo narrowed his eyes at the newcomer.

“Good morning, I’m Kylo Ren. I worked as a volunteer with Rey,” Ben replied, his hand stealthy gripping her wrist.

“Kylo Ren? What a weird name.” Mr.Teedo cocked his head. “You know him?”

Rey had no choice but to nod in agreement. 

“She forgot her bag at the center yesterday. Forgive me, Rey. I looked through your stuff and saw that you have a bus to catch early this morning. I can give you a lift.” He offered, the smile not reaching his eyes.

Had she been alone, Rey would’ve turned him down, hurling the offer back to his smug face. But in front of Mr. Teedo, she cannot reveal her true emotions or Ben’s true nature. Her guardian wouldn’t lift a finger to protect her, knowing all too well they couldn’t wait to kick her out when she turned eighteen and take in another foster. She had no refuge from the cruelty of this world.

“Go then, and don’t get into trouble,” Mr.Teedo said.

Fear twisted her gut as she followed Ben to his car. The bag was on the passenger seat. Her wallet, the interview letter and her bus ticket were left intact.

“Ben,” she said as he pulled out his car on the street. “You don’t need to drive me to the bus station. It’s not far from here and I already have a bus ticket.”

He said nothing.

“This is very important to me,” she pleaded. “You can do what you want with me after my interview, but please let me go.”

He turned the wheel, pulling his car onto the highway.

“I’ll take you where I want you to be,” Ben said quietly.

* * *


	4. Let the past die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She used to be selfish, jealous or possessive. She demanded to receive all of Ben’s affections. She wished all of him, and now she had him all to herself in the worst possible way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daisy meaning and symbolism: innocence, purity, and true love

He was a monster.

Rey woke up on the bed, her face partly concealed by a pillow. Her hair was in disarray, her wrists and ankles were tied to each corner of the bed. The hum of the air conditioner filled the motel room, the artificial air chilling the space between her legs.

She was naked and sore. His cum was still fresh and warm, seeping out of her swollen cunt. The sky outside the window had changed its color from golden to purple, the sun already setting on the western horizon.

Rey sobbed quietly. Ben brought her to this motel, tearing up her bus ticket into pieces and tied her to the bed. He fucked her ruthlessly again and again, until she lost count. 

“You can scream until your throat dries up. The wall is sound-proofed, no one can hear you.” He snarled as he was pounding her from behind. “Now you know exactly what I had been through.”

His weight crushed her into the mattress. Rey cried and writhed until she had no strength left. She tried to capture his gaze, silently pleading for mercy, but saw only coldness in his eyes. He must have hated her beyond forgiveness. 

She closed her eyes, remembering a time when they were young and naive. Ben had always been kind and gentle with her, even at her worst. He would soothe her, humor her, listen to her ramblings until she was spent. She had grown accustomed to Ben carrying her on piggy-back on the way home, pointing to the sky and telling her of his dream of being a pilot.

Rey was too young to learn that love, as the good book said, isn’t selfish or quick-tempered. She thought loving meant being jealous or possessive, demanding to receive all of Ben’s affections. How stupid and ignorant she was. She wished all of Ben, and now she had him all to herself in the worst possible way.

The bathroom door opened. Ben stepped out with a towel wrapped around his waist. He smelt fresh when he took a seat beside her splayed body.

“You’re crying.” He stated the obvious.

Rey hid her face completely on the pillow. He untied her wrists and ankles, her body curled up and trembling. She felt his warm hand rubbing her back gently, then slid under to cradle her in his arms. His gentleness tore her heart into pieces. 

“Why are you doing this?” she sobbed. “You know how important that scholarship was to me. It was my only chance to have a better life.”

“Stay with me.” His lips brushed against her forehead. “Let the past die, Rey. Stay with me. We can begin a new life, together.”

The hollow feeling in her chest violently deepened.

“A new life?” She drew herself from him. “What kind of life it would be for me? A foolish and obedient girl who will do everything you say?”

“You’ll live as my wife,” Ben said bluntly. Rey threw her head back, laughing hysterically. 

“You want a slut for a wife? That’s what you’ve been calling me ever since we started having sex. You tried to share me with your friend like I’m some sort of toy. Are you going to throw me away like one when you get bored, too?”

“Rey—“

“I don’t want your pity.” She left the warmth of his arms, standing up on wobbled knees. “No thanks to you, my life is an absolute shithole. Does that satisfy you? What other vile plans have you got in store for me? Do you plan to peddle me for money? Being gang-raped too?”

“No.”

“Then what do you want?!”

A gush of blood suddenly bled down her thighs. Her hand flew to her belly as a severe cramp ripped through her midsection. The room seemed to spin and Rey felt lightheaded. She saw Ben’s eyes widened in terror and then everything turned white.

She collapsed. In the far distance, she heard him cry out her name.

* * *

Rey suffered a miscarriage. Ben must’ve called for an ambulance as she lost consciousness. She had no idea how she landed in the hospital, or of her ordeal. They said she had lost a lot of blood.

She stared at the ceiling of her hospital room, contemplating all the things that happened in her life that led her to this. Apparently, the Teedos forgot to send her to the clinic to get a new birth control implant, as the ones the system provided was of the cheaper variety and required constant replacements. 

It was both shocking and surprising to know that a part of him had taken root deep inside her, evidence of an intimate relationship between a man and a woman despite their hopeless future. And now it was gone.

“It's not your fault.” A nurse reassured her while Rey cried her heart out. “Miscarriage in the early stages of pregnancy occurs more frequently than most people realize. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

She should feel relief that there was no more dreadful consequence of his cruelty towards her, she didn’t want her child to be born out of love. However, it still broke her heart tremendously.

Maz came to visit her as soon as she was able. “I know you’re still grieving your loss, but I really need to ask you,” she held Rey’s hand and rubbed it gently with her thumb, “Did he force you into this?”

Rey shook her head, insisting it was consensual. She told Mrs. Maz that she was an active participant and was too careless about using protection. The Teedos were the complete opposite of Mrs. Maz. They were furious and indignant over her behavior, berating her so loudly the hospital staff had to ban them from visiting her. When the Teedos began to become more of a nuisance the staff threatened to call the police if they do not leave the hospital immediately.

The social workers came to visit next. They were discreet and professional but very sympathetic. They regretted telling her there was nothing they could do about her scholarship application, but could help in finding an alternative shelter, as returning to the Teedos wasn’t in Rey’s best interest. 

In the coming days, her bleeding soon ebbed. Rey was allowed to walk around the hospital grounds provided she was accompanied by an orderly. It was during these walks that she was able to finally meet Ben.

“Sir, you’re not allowed to visit patients beyond visiting hours,” Rey’s companion said.

“I won’t stay long. I just need a moment with her.” His eyes were fixed on Rey. “Please.”

“It’s OK.” Rey reassured the orderly. 

The staff nodded, “I’ll be nearby if you need me,” she said to Rey while staring pointedly at Ben. 

When they were finally alone, Rey noticed a small bouquet of white daisies in his hand.

“This is for you.” He handed the flowers to her. She accepted, reluctantly. “How are you today?”

“Good.” Rey kept her eyes low. “You wrote Kylo Ren on the visitor log?”

“I changed my name,” he replied. “Ben Solo is no more.”

In the solitude of her hospital room, she had cried until there was no tear left. She couldn’t help but feel used and unwanted, yet she still yearned for him. She yearned for the kind and gentle boy. Her chest tightened, his words revealed what Rey feared all along. That the boy she loved was lost to her. 

After a long moment of silence, Ben sighed. “I’m leaving tomorrow.”

Her breath hitched.

“I’m leaving town. You won’t see me around anymore,” he said. “You should’ve reported me to the police. Thrown me in prison for the crimes I have committed against you. Why?”

Rey remained silent.

“If you’re hesitant because of the videos - don’t worry,” he said softly. “I’ve deleted all the files. But don’t let Plutt know - let him believe I still have them so he’ll keep his pants zipped up.”

His admission surprised her. Maz promised to seek help with the appropriate authorities to investigate Plutt’s horrific crimes. She presumed those videos would prove without a doubt Plutt’s heinous activities but there would be a distinct possibility Ben - Kylo - would be implicated, accused as an accomplice to abusing a minor. Rey wanted Plutt to rot in prison, for what he did to her and countless other children. She hoped more victims or other evidence would appear in the coming days. 

Ben, like her, was also a victim. Rey accepted his misguided punishment, if only to help him free himself from pain. Rey thought regretfully had the circumstances were different, he would’ve achieved greatness, glory and riches that should’ve been his had he never suffered at the hands of those two perpetrators. How sweet it would be if they grew up together. Would he took her under his wing when she was thrown back into the foster system again? She knew the answer to that question. Even at his most cruel, twisted and broken, she still saw glimpses of the kindness she remembered as a child.

“During my time dealing with post traumatic stress, I’ve thought a lot about what I would do if I happened to cross paths with you again.” He said after a long moment of silence, “Would I be angry with you? Would I hate you? Or would I just turn and run away from you? I thought about you all the time. How have you been? Would you still remember me? What would you think about me? There were so many questions I couldn’t find answers to and I felt hopeless.”

Rey understood his sentiments very well. She also had those same questions herself.

“I accused you to be the cause of all my misery. But the truth is, no matter what happened to me on that day, I would probably still do the same thing.” He sighed resignedly. “You had done nothing wrong, Rey. I was the one who has done horrible things to you.”

Ben didn’t touch her. She didn’t look at him in the eyes. They were within arm’s distance yet a big wall called ‘regret’ was between them. She remained silent throughout his monologue and he smiled defeatly to himself. His gaze then softened, lingering at her midsection, where his child had once grown inside the warmth of her body.

“I have no right to beg for your forgiveness. My cruel deeds will be on my conscience until I die.” He continued. “If there’s anything I could make up for your loss, if—“

“Just go.” Rey interrupted, shaking her head. “I don’t want your charity.”

He stepped closer until he was a breath away from her. “Whenever you feel doubtful whether you are worthy of being wanted or loved.” His voice was soothing, yet sad. “Please remind yourself you’re worthy. I assure you, if our past had been different and I haven’t been this twisted, I might have fallen in love with you.”

His words seared into her mind.

“Take care.” He bid farewell and then he walked away.

It took her moments to reflect on his word. By the time she looked up, he was nowhere to be found.

“Miss, are you alright?” The orderly rushed to her side as Rey crumpled on her knees, “Did he say something harsh to you?”

“No. I’m just—“ new string of tears trickled down her cheeks. Rey held his flowers tightly to her chest and cried.

* * *


	5. I'll always remember you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every single moment of her time with Ben was etched in her memory, both the good he did and the hurt he caused. She will always have feelings for Ben, not love nor hate but something in between.
> 
> Does he feel the same?

Ten years have passed.

Life was not easy after she left the hospital. Thanks to Maz, Rey was able to graduate from high school and found a job as a library clerk at the local public library. Rumors about her persisted, whispered and retold behind her back and out of earshot. Time moved on, as did the people who knew her sordid tale. The Teedos left this small town without much fanfare. Nobody missed their presence, Rey most of all. Her past had gone with them.

Time was also the best healer to mend all wounds, including a broken heart. While every single moment of her time with Ben was etched in her memory, the hurt it caused turned into a dull ache. She will always have feelings for Ben. It would never go away, ebbing and flowing from guilt into something that wasn’t love nor hate, but something in between.

The library wasn’t busy at the end of the school year. She was about to close up when the last customer entered through the front door.

“Sorry, Sir. We’ll be closed in ten minutes.” Rey looked up from her computer and her heart nearly stopped.

It was Ben.

And he saw her, too.

Ben looked older. His face was the same, arresting and attractive, with weary wrinkles bracketing the corners of his eyes. He was no longer the boy she remembered, nor passionate yet impulsive young man who walked away from her ten years ago, but a real man. His overall look was clean and more mature. She was busy analyzing the changes to his appearance that she failed to realize he was already standing just a counter across from her.

Rey breathed deeply, trying to remain calm despite her heart pounding inside her chest. “Hello. How may I help you?”

His gaze was calm yet cold. “I want to donate books,” he said. “I’m selling my uncle’s house and he had a lot of books that might be useful for the library.”

Her throat went dry. “Our policy —” she warbled, her voice trembling, “—for book donations are available on our website. There are some categories that we are open for donation. For the others, I can recommend a bookstore where you can sell it.”

She handed a library brochure to him. “I see,” he said, his eyes darkened. “Thank you.”

And with that, he turned back and walked away from her.

Tears pooled in her eyes, her heart fluttered in her chest as memories flooded through her mind. Rey thought she had became stronger, able to move on and put the past behind her. But in fact, she was still the same girl who had been left behind. Now that she met him again, she realized he’d taken a piece of her with him, a part of her that she will never get back.

“Rey? What’s the matter?” Jyn, her colleague, touched her arm lightly. “Who is that man? What did he want?”

“He’s selling his uncle’s house, so he came to ask about book donations,” Rey replied, and then broke into tears.

“My goodness.” Jyn pulled out her handkerchief and handed it to Rey. “Is he—is that the guy you told me about?”

Among all the library staff, Jyn was her closest friend and the only one who knew everything about Rey’s past. “Yes." She nodded. “It’s him.”

“Was he stalking you?” A worried look appeared on Jyn’s face. “Should I call the police? Or do you want to stay at my place for a while?”

“No, it’s fine.” Rey shook her head. “It seems like he has washed his hands of me.”

“Then why are you crying?” Jyn’s eyes were filled with empathy. “You barely spoke about him but every time you did, you never spoke ill about him, despite what he did to you. There must be something going on between you two.”

“There was nothing. For him, I _was_ nothing.”

The wound in her heart, closed for many years, was suddenly ripped open. No matter what she did, she couldn’t forget him. Ben Solo has carved himself into her soul.

* * *

It really didn’t help that the following day was also the anniversary of her miscarrige. As the fateful day fell every year, Rey felt raw and vulnerable, and would schedule time away from work. She would lit special home-made candles. Within seconds, the smell of sweet vanilla would feel her apartment. She could almost see her child with her hazel eyes and Ben's dark wavy hair, a boy or a girl, the gender didn’t matter to her, sitting before a cake ready to blow out the candles.

She wondered if Ben ever mourned their loss.

In the late afternoon, Rey took a walk down the road. The high school she attended had been moved to a newer building on the other side of the town, after a giant crack appeared on the main corridor. They only left an elementary school, where the children had finished their classes and are going home.

She walked past the Teedo’s old house, now renovated and occupied by a couple with four children of their own and a kind grandma who loved bringing her grandchildren to the library in the summer. The old woman was watering her flowers at the front lawn and she waved her hand and gave Rey a warm smile.

A lot has changed in this side of town, save for one structure.

Her feet carried her to the house at the end of the street. Despite the owner passing away five years ago, the exterior and landscaping was well maintained. The house still had the evergreen front lawn and the short white picket fencing. Everything was the same as she had remembered. 

A black sedan was parked outside the closed garage. Ben was walking on the pavement in front of the house, looking like he had also come back from a long trek in the neighborhood. He was walking up the porch to unlock the front door.

Her brain thought she should leave him alone. Her mouth thought otherwise. “Ben!”

He turned and saw her standing across the street. In her memories, she had seen those pair of beautiful eyes so many times— the gentle ones when he was young, the cruel ones when he returned, and the miserable ones when he left her.

Rey walked up to him, her determination unwavering. “Why are you here?”

His jaw clenched slightly. “I’ve already told you at the library.”

“Why were you at the library so late last night? Pretending like I was a stranger.” Her throat tightened and speaking became a laborious task. “Aren’t you done with me? You’re the one who walked away. You disappeared from my life like nothing happened. Do you realize how it felt to be abandoned again?”

“Isn’t it easier that way?” His face was grim, his voice was deep and cautious. “So you can forget everything that hurt you.”

“How could I forget? I lost you. I lost our child,” she said. “How can you make up for that?”

Tides of emotion flashed on his face.

“I tried to forget you so I could be free of this pain. But I can’t.” The old pain emerged again, a heavy burden over her chest. “It would be easy if I hated you, but no matter how I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to hate you. I resented the idea of being in love with you still, to the point that I wanted to die. I wished you thought about me, if only a little. You’ve reduced me to the point that I can’t live without the memory of you, both the good and bad. Is that all nothing to you?”

His voice softened as he answered, “Not to me.”

Tears trickled down her face, her vision blurring. She felt his warm hand cup her face gently and smoothed away her tears with his thumb, his eyes staring into her upturned face. And what she saw in his glittering gaze stole her breath away.

Ben kissed her desperately. She responded with a passion that sparked the old flame into a blazing fire. Rey clung to him, molding herself into his arms and felt a tremor of longing run through him.

“I’ll sell this house and there will be no trace of me left here,” he spoke breathlessly against her lips. “Turn away now if you don’t want this, or I won’t be able to let you go once again.”

“I want to be with you,” she replied, and that was everything he needed to hear. 

* * *

There was no finesse when they tore each other's clothing while making their way through the house, which was empty and silent. Ben took her again to the attic. Rey froze as memories flashed through her mind, of the atrocities that she's suffered inside this space.

“Let me do it right,” he murmured to her ears, kissing and nibbling her neck ever so gently. Her back leaned against the expanse of his chest, burning hot by his body heat. Rey whimpered as he caressed her breasts. Her ass was grinding against his arousal under his pants.

Ben placed her on the edge of the bed and knelt before her. Removing her leggings along with her panties, Rey was completely bare in front of him. His eyes widened in awe as he took in the sight of her. Heat pooled at her center and Rey felt her insides throbbing, yearning for his touch.

He kissed at the tip of her knees, kneeling like a knight swearing his fealty to his queen. Rey shuddered when she felt a shocking jolt of desire coursing through her veins when his nose brushed the sensitive skin of her thighs. His lips then trailed kisses up to her center.

There was no rush or rudeness in the way he worked her up to her climax, coaxing her body to succumb to the fire that only he could ignite. When she reached her peak, soft and relaxed, Ben moved her up completely on the mattress. Rey cradled his head as he kissed ardently on her belly up to each of her breasts. Ben moaned as she tangled his hair, purring as her fingers kneaded his scalp.

His pants joined her leggings on the floor. Ben looked into her eyes with silent inquiry as he aligned himself. _Would she regret this_? Rey spared only a fleeting thought before pressing her hands on his rear, urging him to enter her.

She winced, hissing as she felt her insides stretching, her body relearning to accommodate his girth. Ben soothed her discomfort with light kisses and caresses. Her body slowly opened up to him, allowing him to move, to please her with his own. 

Rey clung to him as her pleasure was building up. He was broad and strong, yet he took her with a gentleness that made her eyes prick with tears. His hand found hers and entwined them, his muscles tensed up, signalling his impending release. Rey moaned into his ear as she came undone, her whole body trembling and her walls clenching around him, pulling him over the edge with her. Ben grunted as he filled her up inside, giving all of himself to her.

Loathing and anger were left behind. Tenderness lingered on. No sappy declarations were said between them, no words could describe perfectly the love and longing that bound them together. 

“Leave this town and join me,” he whispered. “Please.”

She had but one answer for him. “Yes.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of you who had joined this road until the end.
> 
> Stay tuned to the end of August. For you guys who love HEA, there will be an aftermath chapter. I’ll put a link here or you can look it up in my AO3 account once the anonymous is lifted. :)


End file.
